You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we have pet lesbian snakes
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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