Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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