Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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