My hand turned me down
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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