i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
