used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
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let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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