I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize