I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
