did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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