i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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