the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
