I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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