Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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