You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
