Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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