just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
