it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
