Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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