hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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