I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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