She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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