Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
