Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
