I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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