i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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