Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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