i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
