I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize