I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
