The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
