He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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