I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
