SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't tell me you're on acid again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
