I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Panties = found
Randomize