he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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