you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
