And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize