I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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