i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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