At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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