so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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