No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
