How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
