You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
