I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
