Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize