P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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