Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
