What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
