My friends, they love my intelligence
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
