I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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