my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
