after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
