I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He better not be in your backpack
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
