all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
