Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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