Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Shame - the story of my life.
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