The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
