so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
