I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
