capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Randomize
